funny why i bothered.

it was a certain day after a stupid decision to do a 15km, which broke them. it is seriously in twos now, split apart. it hurts so bad when i walk i feel like a duck with four pairs of waddling flaps. four pairs.

i need to turn them into human feet again.
please God, resurrect my 2 foot.

common sense means nothing to me
i remembered the day i discovered common sense.

it was a cold, rainy day i remember.
i was young.
hair tucked behind my ears and all.

i was having history lesson and certainly, not paying attention in class when suddenly, my teacher icantrememberhername said "sarah, you would know this"

i looked up from my daze and wondered what i would know.
nothing, i thought.

the question was this: "where is the indus river located - 2 marks"
hmmmm. looks familiar.

my teacher icantrememberhername said: "well, you should tell the class your answer in the mid-years paper you did"
oh yes, oh yes, this question was from the midyears.
and i said: "FUZHOU!" with a gusto i never dared to muster even now.

i heard very slight giggles and my teacher icantrememberhername rolled her eyes.
she told me it was wrong and said:
"the answer is very simple. you probably don't even need to study for it. just use your common sense"

common sense? that should be easy, right? right?
then i started:

"venice?" no.
"hainan?" no.
"suzhou?" no.
"errr, usa?" NO.
"ok, singapore" i concluded.
and the giggles became apparent even my teacher icantrememberhername had troubles keeping down.

she said: "sarah, it's common sensical. just think, indus sounds like?"
i said: "industry"
she said: "NO, it sounds like INDIA"

really?

and i sat down wondering if i would ever possess common sense if i cannot even see the link. i felt like crying. and today, while teaching some primary2 children, i remembered it again.

they asked, "can i play under the table?" and i said "common sense tells you no, so i guess, no is my answer". i had an epiphany. you need age and experience for your common sense to grow.

and the tint of hurt disappeared inside of me.
it was okay that i didn't have it then.
it's really fine.

everything is like a copy of
a copy of
a copy
living my day a minute at a time.

every time i begin an essay, i will tell myself "okay, just write something simple". but then, the more i think about it, the more complicated my topic sentence gets. and poof, i end up writing a potential graduation thesis rather than what a 2500-word essay should be.

i would wonder then, "why would i want to make my life so difficult?"

and i came up with a million and one excuses. i will just share 2 of them because i would be writing another graduation thesis here if i were to explain to you what my complex brain is going through right now. ah, shut up Freud.

1. it's a good practice
2. i don't know why i do what i do

dang, the 1st is basically crap. who needs to practice for their grad essays seriously. and the 2nd, well, i feel like poking my eyes now.

life doesn't have to be that difficult. it is really not that complicated.
so sarah, stay simple and live life easily.

and it's okay that you can't think of how to end this blog post.
it's really okay.