brewing chinese herbal medicine in the toilet.
and i would suffocate and feel faint after bathing.

everytime i step into my bathroom to bathe now, i would kind of dread it for the simplest reason that i don't find myself any cleaner than before after i do so. in fact, i would feel that i stink. this has been torturing me silently because i sincerely dread bathing these days - i don't want to stink, i really don't.

why?

because i have been using the jackie chan shampoo. apparently it is called Ba Wang (meaning Domineering King... erm, okkk).

it really, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and mind and soul and nose, stinks to the core of my bones. when i squirt the foam out, it is not like the normal white kind of foam - it is freakin' brown, and goey. when i apply it onto my hair, it feels exactly like i am rubbing herbs on my hairs and not only so, i am chewing it in my mouth. yes, believe me. it is this pungent. it is like brewing those chinese medicine in your bathroom and having your hair drink it.

but you know why i am using it? because i believe in the chinese idiom that "bitter medicine is good for you". okay, is there even such an idiom? my point is, i think there is a reason why it stinks so bad; it is probably good for you that is why it stinks to such an extent (if not, why would the people behind Ba Wang think that consumers would buy something that smells like a 500year-old ginseng that has decomposed)? my sheer perseverence is out to prove a point that i don't mind going through hardship for good things to come.

maybe it is psychological, but i think it does soften my hair to a small degree. it is showing slow but sure effects that my hair will resemble jackie chan's black crowning glory within a few more months to come (something which i am not sure why i want).

but first, i really need to psyche myself to start bathing again.
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BATHE.