my examinations can be adequately summed up by two words as Shylock, the tragic figure from Merchant of Venice, famously quipped: "Ha, ha!".

indeed, as harry levin would specifically point out, "the most protean aspect of comedy is its potential of transcending itself, for responding to the conditions of tragedy by laughing in the darkness".

the past 3 weeks resembles nothing less to a shakespearean tragedy and has left me laughing in the dark of the night with tears streaking down my face everytime i think of this examinations. nothing short of a tragedy, nothing short.

try:
1) realizing that you did not read (or in the very first place, know about) one THICK stack of readings just 5 minutes before your paper.
1.1) flipping open the paper and NOT KNOWING anything from it because everything came from (refer to point 1) the readings
2) studying for 3 out of 6 books and having the OTHER 3 come out in your exams
3) encountering setbacks from assignment grades in the midst of studying for your papers
3.1) demoralized.
4) growing a painful and throbbing wisdom tooth while studying for your exams.

if i did not have God with me for any moment while facing all these, i would have probably surmised my courage to jump off the building than to face such academic downfall. one thing for sure, it could have ended my misery faster.

but well, here i am; still so self depracating to the state of my exams and sufficiently optimistic to not jump off the building. i guess i am relying on God's promises in the bible (which i trust my entire life to) that "all things [really, really does] work for the good of those who love God [and i believe i really do]" as romans 8:28 would appropriately comfort.

extremely dramatic way to encounter God's promise, i fathom.


[ed's note]
but to be honest, i find my worries so indequate compared to so many other people in the world. take the star awards; what our fellow brother, chew chor meng is facing is probably much more excruciating to that of my little academic woes. yet, from his demeanour i see a quiet hope in such agonies. that quiet hope i see is called faith.