2am is the new 1am; it keeps getting better, or not.
since when did i sleep at 2am? well, i cannot exactly pin point a time period. it probably started when i entered university, perhaps 1-2sems ago? but noooo, i am not going to blame it all on the education system or the tumultuous varsity life no matter how jaded i am.

it isn't their fault. because this time, i think it's mine.

these days, when i look at the time, my definition of lateness has shockingly transcended the norm. 130am is early now, 2am well i should be getting ready to sleep, 230am is threading on thin ice but it's still acceptable, 3am okay, now it's late.

why do i stay up, many ask. to be exact, diancong asked (he is extremely fascinated with the time that i hit the sacks don't know why). my answer is a little pathetic.

because if i sleep too early (say, 130am), i will feel i haven't accomplished anything. but seriously, staying up just 1 or 2 more hours to 3am does not make things any better. i still have to rush for assignments till the very last second, heap my literature texts into a big mountain beside my table and in every way possible, be very, very busy in the day. staying up that 1-2 hours more is simply a way of gratifying my insecurities.

it is not that i did not realize it, but i just don't really want to change it despite feeling the side effects of this new definition of lateness. believe me, if you ever see me on the train, you will not want to call out to a girl who is too deeply asleep, with her mouth open and saliva nearly drooling over her shoulders and probably would wake up with a rude jerk if anything were to disturb her sleep. it will be absolutely obscene for you to be associated with me.

it is not good at all and i know i should change. but at this moment, even though i know i am quite worn out, i still feel like typing an entry. don't condemn me, because your source of entertainment in the wee hours of 1.41am comes from me. i guess i will continue to stay up until the day i realize that i have already done all that needs to be done for the day. and maybe to know that i do not have to resort to such physical torture to feel assured that i have achieved something for the day.

wow, so much for just staying up until 2am. maybe i do really become smarter from it huh.