i swear off hot doughnuts

never put your doughnuts in the microwave for more than 8seconds - any doughnuts put in for more than that will become a hazard for the eater and will cause serious damage to, in this case, the fingers.

i shall never have jam + doughnuts or jam doughnuts again and if i do, well if i really do, it is when i really can't help it. but oh, for today, i SWEAR OFF these puny hazards! it was such a beautiful white chocolate-coated jam filled doughnut that i knew i had to consume it in that 45degree tilt to the left to achieve the maximum Oooooomph. bad move.

it wasn't until 0.0000000001seconds later that i felt something sensational happening to my middle finger - deep fried is an understatement of what happened to it. the pain didn't register until 5seconds later; before i could scream, i dipped my other fingertips into the boiling jam filling because i was trying to (don't judge me!) stop it from dripping to the floor. it didn't stop there. to my shocking horror, my instincts prompted me to lick the hot sauce off to soothe the pain on those fingers. no prizes for guessing what happened after that.

hungry sarah + hot doughnuts = @#$%^&*@#$ (this is OUCH in cryptic formula)