actually, i don't exactly believe it either.

I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!

that's another item added to my "God-done-it-not-me" list. it was completely awesome. firstly, it was the erratic weather. i have had 21 lessons and EVERY single session was sunny and cloudy until TODAY. yes, of all days, the 15th October 2008 last driving lesson before the driving test. but surprisingly, my brain was the furthest from the insane rain. i was thinking more about my rendang lunch than it. it was pretty amazing how nonchalent i was!

when i was practising in the circuit and on the road, i had zilch anxiety okay. it was probably because i REALLY needed to go to the toilet, that's why i was completely uninterested in feeling nervous since i was already breaking out in cold sweat from holding my pee pee. so, i practically enjoyed my driving lesson even though i was going to have my driving test in like 30 minutes time. well of course, other than the holding my bladder part.

fast forward to the test itself. when i was walking towards my car, i still had the guts to joke with the examiner about some stupid nonsense that i cannot remember now. everyone was walking like pale sheets of white and there i was, all cracked up talking to the examiner. i think he passed me because i could still manage a few sentence with him without peeing in fear. i got onto the car feeling like a dream; it really didn't feel like it was real at all.

my whole test was a big joke, let me be frank with you. i just bumped my way through not knowing what happened! all the "right, left, left, right" instructions were making my head spin and i was seriously out of sync. the exasperated examiner was giving me all sorts of comments that indicated that i was going to fail; and the only thing that i remembered was how i kept apologizing to him "opps, sorry sorry sorry". but when i parked my car into the yellow box at the end of the test, he told me: "your driving is not bad, just that you don't check your blind spots. be careful ah, you passed". eh, i couldn't believe my ears you know.

so there's another step of courage i took in life. and guess what, i passed it; not out of my skills or expertise which sadly, remains a far cry from expectations, but by the grace of God.


He was probably the only one who knew what was going on anyway.