i am an antm fan
we had a photoshoot for destiny music where i am going to be singing and emcee-ing this morning. gabriel mendes (goodness, you've got to check out his gorgeous works on his blog which can be found on the links) was doing the shoot! it was so cool. well anyway, after makeup (it was by a makeup artist from mediacorp unit!), i was whizzed off outside to do the shoot first.

first of all, before i tell you about the shoot, i have to mention: i was completing my america's next top model cycle 9 on youtube. after hypnotising yourself with 11 straight episodes of pose-pose-pose, guess what i would do during the shoot? POSE LAH.

what was so horrendous (for gabriel and i) about the shoot was that i was POSING! he made me jump up, robot walk, gorilla thump, wall slump, hair swipe and so on and soooooo ffoooorrrttthhh, just so i could give him NATURAL shots. it was like army drilling a la photography drilling.

i took the longest to complete the whole shoot; he shot me 3 rounds which i think made up 30mins in all. est, angie, pris and szemin took like 5-10mins to complete theirs. we were looking through some of the shots from his professional cam and there were some good ones we could use. the last round was probably the best because my dejected (and extremely tired) self was in the whatever-man-just-take-la kind of state.

from this experience, i realised i am a pretty hard nut to crack. it was true when he said i have many layers, hard and difficult to peel. i don't feel the need to justify myself in any ways definitely. maybe it's my prerogative to be who i want. but i know somehow or rather, i need to let my true self show. there is someone more enchanting and beautiful than who everybody sees now, and this is what being natural is.

whether i am loud naturally, quiet and deep or utterly soft in nature, i would love to explore the person i am and not to take on another persona. it's a process which i am ready to set foot on.

that's probably my first step to me.
the real me.